Dear you

Dear old sappy self,
Please stop worrying too much. Anything, anything can happen.
Please stop comparing yourself with other. You’ll do just fine.
Please stop thinking that you’re less skilled than your friends.
Please stop focusing on the future. Just stop for a moment and think about now. You’re sick. Get some sleep.
Please stop fixating on the clerkship exam. You’ll have time to study, later.
Please stop being afraid about things that are unsure and changeable.
Please stop thinking that you’re running out of good luck. Pray. Pray. Pray.
Please help yourself. You can help yourself.

Grieve not, Allah is surely with us.


Sing me to sleep, someday, someway

I find your lips so kissable
And you kiss unmissable
Your fingertips so touchable
And your eyes…irresistible.

It’s in your lips, and in your kiss
It’s in your touch, and your fingertips
It’s in all the things and other things that make you who you are
And your eyes… Irresistible.

One Direction – Irresistible


OTRA pt. 2; bloody no

Ok it’s officially confirmed that zayn won’t be joining the rest of the boys in Manila and Indonesia. Say what? (Groans in frustration). Apparently he’s been diagnosed with stress so he needed to go back to the UK to have a few days off. And a lot of people (as in concert goers) don’t take it easily. You betcha. I can understand their disappointment though. It’s nearly impossible for 1D to come down to Indonesia, and when they finally does, we’re missing one boy. I’m not a hardcore fan of 1D, but I feel legit sad. Apart from the classic “its not 1D without Zayn” or “it won’t be the same without Zayn” or “who’s gonna slay the high notes?”, I’m getting sad thinking about the struggle, my struggle, in order to get to Jakarta. I mean sure it will pay off the moment I watch them live, but still, I’m fighting so hard for 5 boys not 4. 😦 Now I start wondering whether to call it off or not. I have frickin oral test on Friday not to mention graduation on Saturday. Is it worth the time?
And stress, really Zayn (or management)? Can’t you guys make up better excuses? If he does have stress, well dude I’m sorry for you, I hope you feel better soon, I do. But if it turns out he doesn’t have one and it’s just some twisted management trick to cover up something, then idk what to say. I sit here motionless as I read articles on Zayn’s absence. I know the words we ought to know, you owe it to the fans are stupid, because I know it doesn’t work that way. I just…

Being a fan girl is hard. 


Playlist 03 : “runaway”

Basically songs that make me wanna runaway. Or disappear. Nah. Disappearing is way scary. Runaway …..not to some unhabitated islands, I don’t wanna be eaten by hybrids- probably to Dubai, or Madinah.

Taylor Swift – Style
One Direction – Happily
Justin Timberlake – Not A Bad Thing
Sky Sailing – Take Me Somewhere Nice
Iggy Azalea – Trouble
5 Seconds of Summer – End Up Here
Hunter Hayes – Storyline
The 1975 – Chocolate
Port Blue – Arrival at Sydney Harbor
Port Blue – Of Japan
Pitbull – International Love
Florida Georgia Line – Cruise
Cassadee Pope – This Car
Shawn Mendes – Life of The Party
Emblem3 – L.A Story
The Vamps – Hurricane
Flo Rida ft. Sia – Wild Ones
Boys Like Girls – The Great Escape


OTRA pt. 1 ;getting ready

On a lighter note, I really really really really am excited for 1D On The Road Again Tour! Well, majority of my friends think that I’m just plain crazy for going –with all this new DM thing going on. I have to sacrifice a lot. But that’s the beauty of it, I guess. You seek pleasure in a way that makes people shake their head in disbelief. Anyhoo I’ve been spending a lot of time watching Larry videos. I’m getting myself ready to catch any Larry moment in the upcoming concert. I learn their secret signs, innuendos, word change during specific songs, bum tap, all sort of lovey dovey thing. (Act My Age playing on the background). It’s just sad watching them drifting apart lately. So I’m determined to find any hint of interraction between Larry. Louis and Harry. I ship them. Hard. Not romantically. Well, I don’t know. I’m neutral tho. I don’t support them being, you know. Because its simply against things that I believe in. But if they actually come out, I won’t be a biatch, calling them name, sending hate, attacking them on every social media or anything. I just think they –and whatever relationship they have- is cute.
So, the song I’m looking forward to hear the most is probably Better Than Words. Idk, maybe because its super edgy and cheeky and you can just sorta dance along to it, not to mention the eargasmic Niall’s solo :

Best I ever had, hips don’t lie, you make me wanna ssssssssh one more night….

As for costume, well, if I could, I’d want to be all out, wearing proper merch and accesories, even print out some signs and stuff. I’d really love to put on some glow in the dark powder or anything just to stand out. But I couldn’t. I don’t even have time to go home and shower. I have to rush to the airport right after the bell. Yeeeh. I once told my twitter friend that I might be too old to be in any fandom, and she was like “NOOOOO DON’T SAY THAT! Nobody’s too old (or too young) for this!” I laughed for minutes. She was just 13.