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Playlist 21; ride the waves.

Clean Bandit ft. Louisa Johnson – Tears

Dan + Shay – Sway 

Jonas Blue ft. JP Cash – Perfect Strangers

Matoma ft. Astrid S. – Running Out

Mø – Final Song 

Nick Jonas ft. Ty Dolla Sign – Bacon

Paul Van Dyk ft. Adam Young – Eternity

Timeflies – Once In A While

Troye Sivan ft. Alessia Cara – WILD

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Night walk.

Ayah: Adik, tau kan darah kita ada dua jenis dik, sel darah merah sama…

Adik: Putih yah!

Ayah: Pinter, terus kalau kakak kekurangan yang mana?

Adik: Darah merah yah!

Ayah: Iya makanya kakak harus…

Adik: Transfusi!

Ayah: Wah anak Ayah ini pinter banget

Adik: Supaya kakak cepet sembuh kan yah? Harus nginep sini ya?

Ayah: Iya dik. Adik sama ayah yang jagain kakak malam ini ya? Siap?

Adik: Siap kapten! 

Ayah: Oke tos dulu dong

Adik: Tos!

Ayah: Mari, dok

Saya: Oh iya pak…

.

.

It was one cold night. June was supposed to be warm wasn’t it? I was on a night shift & had to head back to my car to pick up some stuff; all the way from IRD. The hospital hall was empty, dark and a wee bit scary (old buildings and all the dim lights) I was walking, jogging, at full speed, head down. Thank God, at the end of it there were these father and daughter and I was able to slow down. I couldn’t help but listen closely to their conversation as I kept my steady pace behind them. I was completely blown away by their acceptance. I could tell by the way the strolled around hospital, knew which way to turn regardless of the dark surrounding, that they’ve been here plenty of time. Monthly. Weekly. I don’t know. RBC Transfusion could mean cancer, kidney disorders, or maybe it’s just mild disease with anemia. I don’t know. But I do know that it’s not easy to tell your 8-9 year old daughter that her sister needs treatment, it’s not easy to see your sibling lies on a hospital bed, not moving. Yet this man was able to make something fun out of it. Able to teach his kid to not give up hope. Able to smile and be cheerful for the sake of his other child. Even though I know, deep inside he’s breaking. 

X

Thank you for your company. Wishing all the best thing in the world for your daughters. You’re a cool and wonderful dad. They’re lucky to have you. 

-the girl in a green suit whom you just called “doc”

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Someday someway.

Patterson: Everyone who moved in, moved out in the span of 6 months. It’s not them. It’s me. 

David: Look, I know you’re different, but so am I. You’re worth saving, darling.

Patterson: I don’t know why you’re shooting in the dark. I got faith in nothing.

David : Have faith.

Taken from a tv show called Blindspot. Can’t help but add a bit of How to Love lyrics in their convos. It suits their relationship too. They’re not the main characters in this series, but I love watching their interactions. I find myself waiting for their scenes. So refreshing. It adds a nice balance to the already super serious & mysterious story line. Patterson, one of the best FBI analysts, gets so immersed in her job and puts her walls up once again to anyone who’s trying to get close. One simple mistake & she retracts back into her shell; so afraid of losing her safe zone. She thinks that she’s better off alone. Then there’s David, doing all he can to convince her that it’s okay to open up and need someone. It’s okay to share her burden. She isn’t better off alone. She’s worth saving. 


But love, pray for me.

I never had somebody, so I don’t know how to love

Pray for me

I know I need somebody, so I can learn how to love

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A pinch of salt and pepper.

Living together with a bunch of your friends for quite some time can be tricky. Different backgrounds, different habits, different perspective on things. My mum always reminds me to keep my distance, don’t get too close, unless you’re like 100% sure that they’re willing to go through anything with you. Things are sometimes better off when people know only a little about each other. In this house I learn to tolerate things. I learn to let people work on their pace, even though I can’t help fidgeting. I just hate any second wasted. I can’t see unfinished work. It irks me. It makes me anxious. And to ease the pain away, I get it all done. I did all the work that’s supposed to be distributed evenly. I wasn’t looking for a round of applause / for anyone to praise me. Trust me I did it cause that’s my only sick way of dealing with my anxiety. A few days ago a friend of mine criticized me about the way I handled things. He didn’t like that I took all the work & responsibility on my own. Well, to avoid further conflict, I apologized. I tried so hard to keep my composure in check cause upfront approach & honesty weren’t really my favorite things. I was on the phone with my dad for hours to calm myself down. And as usual, his wise words made me realize once again that I’ve been blessed with such a good man as my role model.

But up until now, it still doesn’t sit right with me; wasting time away while you can do so much in 60 minutes. 

I’m sorry.