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Plot frickin twist.

I’ve been dormant for 9 months! Wow! Nope I didn’t elope or get pregnant. I just got lost in the moment. I thought nothing could ever top 2017, I was so scared to let it go. But then 2018 happens. I can’t even begin to explain how mind-boggling this year is. Living in Madiun for a year has taught me a lot. I grew as a person. I learned to interact with other human beings, tolerate their jokes and point of view. I learned how to be comfortable around new people (I’m still awkward, still not your typical social butterfly, but hey, slow progress is still progress). Now I know why they always said, “you need to open up more.” I’ve been so caught up in my own world that I forgot other people existed. I learned how to be sincerely happy and smile more. I used to feel so disgusted with myself for being fake, but now I know how to be kind and mean it. So yep, I owe this program a lot. 

Now here comes the plot twist. A bundle of joy was born in this world! I have a niece and surprise surprise I love her unconditionally. Lol I was never a big fan of babies. I had my fair share of anxiety when my sister was pregnant. WILL I LOVE THIS CHILD? I could only fake some smiles for so long. Snap snap snap I was wrong. Right then and there when I held her in my arms I knew I would give up my limbs for her if I had to. Well, not that dramatic but still. She’s only 5 weeks old but she has taught me more than my old brain could possibly handle. She taught me patience, love, understanding, and how to be selfless. I see my sister in a different view now. I have so much respect for her. It is so hard to be a mom. So fucking hard. I’d like to do a post about this someday.

2018 has been life changing. Probably the best year ever. I honestly don’t want to let this one go, but I have to. Here’s to 2019. I want to be irrevocably happy.
PS: I met someone ☺️